Archive for February, 2017


Fine, fine, fine

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This is another song I wrote when I was bored in May 2016, so that explains why this song has Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders singing Disney songs together…maybe not. In any case, I realize the lyrics aren’t perfect with the music, but I did this for free so you get what you pay for. Enjoy.

“Fine, Fine, Fine” 

(to the tune of “Mine, mine, mine” from Disney’s “Pocahontas”)

[Donald Trump]

A place in the Senate

The office of mayor

Both are as useless

As the average tax payer

King of the White House

Will be my position

If you think ‘Merica is number one

Get me to Washington

 

Sign, guys, sign every person

And give, guys, don’t ever stop

The Dems have no prayer, guys

Swear, guys

Get on the phone

Call all that you know

And tell them to fall into line

With me in charge, it’ll be fine, fine, fine

[Voters]

Vote and vote and vote and votety

Vote and vote and vote and votety

[Hillary Clinton]

Big business money!

Big business money!

[Trump]

Oh, this feels great!

[Hillary]

Fundraising money!

Fundraising money!

[Trump]

It must be fate!

[Hillary]

Sweet Wall Street money!

Sweet Wall Street money!

[Trump and Hillary]

There’s so much of it…

[Trump]

All aimed at the people I hate!

 

My Republican foes

Know I am no quitter

When I debate Hillary

They know I’ll just out-wit her

All of my followers

They love me on Twitter

They’ll all have to respect me

They’ll love me…no, elect me!

 

It’s fine, fine, fine

What we’re making

It’s fine, guys

Find me those votes!

With me as the nominee…

 

With me standing tall

I’ll build that Mexican wall

No matter how much they whine

With all of the votes…I’m fine!

 

[Voters]

Vote and vote and vote and votety

Vote and vote and vote and votety-vote

[Bernie Sanders]

All of my life, I had wanted us to be like

Denmark

A tiny, cold,  powerless country

That nobody minds

I want to make my mark on the Dems

Or my “Dem-mark”!

If you want everything free

Then just vote for me

The middle class will finally be fine!

 

[Trump and Voters together]

 

[Trump]

Don’t listen to the news

With their twisted views

Find, guys, find

Find me those…votes

[Voters]

Find

Secure a state

Then another state

Vote! Vote! And votety

Vote! Vote! Get all the votes!

 

[All]

Make the USA

A-OK

[Trump]

You may want my tax forms

Because of election norms

But I haven’t seen yours why show you mine?

 

[Bernie]

The rich have it all…

[Trump]

My fingers aren’t small…

[Bernie]

My foreign policy won’t stall!

[Trump]

I’ll have great ratings this fall!

 

Trumps and Voters together]

[Trump]

And the votes

Are…

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

Mine!

 

[Voters]

So go get the votes

The battle’s just begun

Our guy’s number one

We are hell-bent

For our guy to be president and (s)he’s

Fine!

Vote and vote and votety-vote!

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Apologies to Gene Wilder

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This is wildly inappropriate, and sacrilege to one of the funniest actors in the last 50 years. That said, here’s my contribution to the downfall of our society:

Willy Wanka (to the melody of “Pure Imagination”)

[Spoken]

Surf the web

Be aroused

Hit the search key

 

[Sung]

Look with me

You will see

A new world of

Raw deprivation

Go and gaze

And engage

In furious masturbation

 

We’ll proceed

With the deed

Because we read

Stories of triple penetration

What you like

Just may be

Domination

 

If you want to view a pair that’s nice

Just un-zip your pants and slap it

Anytime you’re horny, fap it

Want to mute the sound?

Whatever helps

To whack it

 

There’s no shame

If you came

To pictures of

Anal exploration

Just be sure

The site’s free

Or no big credit card fee

 

If you have a real nasty vice

In a video with no budget

Try not to harshly judge it

Think no one makes mistakes?

Even butt men

Fudge it

 

If a crow

And a doe

Fill the screen with

Animal ejaculation

Look at them

Filled with glee

That is the

Way to be