Category: Music


An RPG Fight

83519532

I thoroughly enjoy playing any game where I can get progressively stronger so I can kill all who oppose me (to save the world of course.) This is my tribute to the role-playing game:

(to Bruno Mars’ “That’s What I Like“)

Hey, hey, hey
I have Marle with her crossbow
Her Haste moves you pronto
She uses healing magic
That gives her a white glow
Ayla only needs her fist, Fights dinosaurs
If you’re lucky she’ll give a kiss, Run on all fours
In the future I found a robot
Fought mutants and whatnot
Robo is well developed
With a nice subplot
A palace underwater, It would become so lethal
The queen will ignore her daughter, And then doom her people

Jump in the Wings of Time
(Avoid the Day of Lavos)
Got Lucca driving
(Oh shit Magus we gotta vamos)
We can save Guardia, we can save the world
I just have to find a save point

It doesn’t matter the name
Or if they all play the same
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Role-playing greatness and fame
Makes other genres seem tame
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game

Me and Dogmeat in the Wastelands
Bandits making demands
Shoot all of their heads off
Looks like I’m in command, you radroach
And I don’t ever want to set the world on fire
Destroying Megaton doesn’t make me a liar
I’ll have ant meat for a meal
A stimpack to help me heal (me heal)
Now see there who is coming (see there)
It’s the Brotherhood of Steel
Are you good? (Are you good?) Or an Outcast (Or an Outcast?)
Have explosives? (Have explosives?) Let’s have a blast

Journey from the Citadel
(Have to stop the Enclave)
Murdered by a Deathclaw
(Restart from my last save)
There will be clean water, There will be clean water for all
And the Capital Wastes will bloom

It doesn’t matter the name
Or if they all play the same
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Role-playing greatness and fame
Makes other genres seem tame
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game

So you want an engrossing tale
Then you should be proud, to play as Tifa and Cloud
Backstory, backstory, backstory
Backstory, And Aerith got implaed
Dead as a doornail
Carth Onasi, Dual-welding nasty
And don’t forget Darth Revan
Say it, man say it out loud
This is gaming heaven

It doesn’t matter the name
Or if they all play the same
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Any RPG is a fun game, is a fun game
Role-playing greatness and fame
Makes other genres seem tame
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game
Any RPG is a fine game, is a fine game

 

Advertisements

TV to DC

w4ra5

This is the last political song I’m writing for a while because I am starting to develop a drinking habit because of the news.

TV to DC

(melody to “Zero to Hero”)

 

0h dear God

Trump is just so flawed

Won’t shut up about that supposed voter fraud

What a tool!

Trump speaks like a fool

Then puts stupid Betsy Devoss in charge of every children’s school

 

He was a business man

On TV, TV

Now he’s the president

There in DC

So what the White House has a leak

From TV to DC in a week

TV to DC, the orange freak!

 

When he’d deny there is outcry

With yells and boos

And according to him he always will win

(Ignore fake news!)

 

From real-estate and matters of state

Our Trump has money to gain

But since he works for the people

He could tell you

Rules are a such a pain!

 

Have some gin ‘cause the crazy will begin

Building a wall

Is considered a major win

Do not ask

‘Bout Russia links and ties

While women hope

Donald’s advisors will be wise

 

Donny he talks, he boosts, he deals

People ask “Is he for reals?”

He is just loud, dumb, and crass

From TV to DC a total ass

From TV to DC there’s just no class

 

Who always leaves the ‘grace’ out of ‘disgrace’?

(Donald Trump!)

Who legislates on points of race?

(Donald Trump!)

Isn’t he smart? (No one dumber!)

Is he leaving? (Perhaps by summer!)

Donald Trump (x7)

 

What a scheme Trump is gaining steam

Unrelenting

Hating gays and the ACA

Just tormenting

 

He was a misogynist

On TV, TV

Now he’s a racist

In charge of DC

 

He’s destroying the country with so much hate

From TV to DC

Trump is so creepy

Just so ghastly

Second rate!

Here’s to the Underdog

We all consume media (I think we all agree on this one) and watch the popular shows.

No wait, I'm going somewhere with this.

Well, what about the lesser known shows? The TV shows and movies that were good but just weren’t a commercial success? This one is for them. (For the record, I’m talking about the lesser known stuff, which may or may not include cult classics. When I say cult classics, I mean good ones, not bad ones that are the homeless bums of dark alleys in the movie world that are loved by annyoing people, and definitely not the horrible ones.)

Shaddup.

The first one dear to my heart is Eerie, Indiana. This show, as freak-39 on imdb.com described it, was the X-Files for little kids. This show only aired for one season in 1991-92 and it still brings back fond memories of scary things that challenged my 4-year old world…on a related note, my therapist says I can re-enter society. Seriously though, this show wasn’t your typical entertainment. The premise was that Marshal Taylor moved to Eerie, Indiana from New Jersey, and apparently Eerie is the center of the universe for werid things, and remember, this was 1991, before the weird things of the internet. Marshal and his friend encounter strange things and try to collect evidence about them, i.e. if they met Lady Gaga, they would  follow her and try to take photos or videos of her.

"So you say there's a Madonna-like singer whose breast were on fire? You've been listening to too much Grunge!"

One episode I remember was called “Foreverware”. Marshal and his friend discover a product like tupperware that keeps anything from getting old, including people. A set of twin boys have been sleeping in the Foreverware for years and remain young, like the stars of Disney Channel. (Do they even allow grey hair on that network?!) At the end of the episode the seal isn’t as tight as it should be and the boys turn into adults overnight. It was a interesting show, to say the least.

The other show I want to give a shout out to this entry is Bucky O’ Hare, a show set in a parallel dimension where a humanoid animals are fighting a war between reptiles and mammals, and Captain Bucky (a green rabbit with a red-and-yellow outfit) leads an elite crew of mammals, including a four-armed one eyed duck and a psychic cat.

If you think that's strange, wait 'til I tell you about a blue hedgehog and his companion fox with two tails...

Also from 1991 and lasting a season, this cartoon had it all: lasers, explosions, and a one-eyed robot. Ah, the good ol’ days when cartoons didn’t have to teach anything…This show also spawned a Nintendo game, and an arcade game, (that game was at Chuck E. Cheese so I know some of you played it) among other things.

Not all of them good.

This show nows seems cheesey with bumbling enemies and raises questions: how can a one-eyed robot with no mouth (or anything resembling one) talk? Why does the only main female character have to be a cat? Why not zebra? And how come  this show got cancelled along with Eerie?

That’s it for the moment, and apologies for taking so long in posting an entry. Now, chime in. Which old TV shows, movies or whatever do you love that never really became mainstream? Also, what else would you like to see me talk/rant/have a conniption over in the future? (It can be anything relevant to media, even something I already talked about) Thanks for reading and stay in school.

 In marketing, a lot of effort is made to appeal and get the interest of pre-teens and teenagers. This is because 1) they have disposable cash, 2) they’re a large segment of the population, and 3) they are very stupid. I should know. One way to get the attention of this demographic is to put out movies and TV shows about teens. These shows can be some pre-teens’ first impression of adolescence.

Keep in mind the number of impromptu songs sung will also be low.

 There are simply some things that aren’t true. Let me explain them to you.

First of all, you won’t look your best during this time. It’s has nothing to do with you personally; it’s just your body will do weird things. It will decide to grow pimples on your face in embarassingly obvious places. Patches of hair will grow in new places and oily skin is a new reality you must face everyday. The people on television never have pimples, peach fuzz, and perfect skin. There is a reason for this: genetic engineering. Apparently some Nazi Arayan experiments escaped from Europe and started families in the United States. That’s the best I can come up with.

These children bully the French kids and no one can figure out why.

Second, your voice will crack. So anything showing teenagers singing is a complete lie…a horrible, horrible lie. I wish I realized this before I had to cant in front of my entire family for my Bar Mitzvah, but after 3-4 years your family stops bringing it up. Your voice will not ring crisp and true, but change pitch randomly. Zach Efron and company record their songs in a studio, away from the world and are beaten by Disney executives until they get it right (just kidding, they don’t beat them, they just bury them underneath a pile of lawyers).

Disney singers have learned not to stand near the edge of subway platforms.

 Thirdly, you will not be the stand-out individual as is everyone on TV. You’re not a clone but you will be joining/forming a group of friends. Everyone wants to fit in and feel accepted; this is perfectly normal. Those that are meant to stand out, will. Those who desparately want to be noticed will make a complete ass of themselves. If Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing doesn’t rush in to take the limelight, then nobody should. Why? Because it’s Patrick Swayze, that’s why.

Before the Old Spice Man was on a horse, Patrick Swayze was on one.

Lastly, these aren’t the greatest years of your life. Too many movies and shows portray your teenage years as the best ever. They are great and full of fun first time experiences, but they are full of stress. Besides trying to sing in your school’s hallway, voice cracking, trying not to step in face oils left on the floor by the math geeks, you also have your first job, first relationship, and preparing and choosing your college. This isn’t to mention the gaining independence from your parents, SATs (remember how fun it was listening to the kid who got 1560 complain he/she didn’t do better?), learning to drive and all the responbilities of everyday life.

He will have a troubling adolscence.

Remember: TV and movies are played by people in their 20s and 30s. If you wish to have a somewhat more accurate view of high school, watch Freaks and Geeks on Youtube. You can also see Seth Rogan as a teenager!

Now, chime in: What do you remember about your teenage years and what do you wish the media would portray with/about teenagers that they currently don’t? And by the way, thank you for still reading this drek. It means a lot to me…and Patrick Swayze. WOLVERINES!!!